Week Eight

Something happened to me this week that has never happened before. Something terrible. Something devastating. In a Yahoo league I've been in for two years, and won both of those years, I lost 12-0. A complete shutout. I was dominated. I was crushed. I was destroyed.

I had a chance on the last day to at least save a few points. We were tied in wins and losses (don't get me started on losses being a category. It's stupid. Everybody knows it's stupid) and I had Jeff Suppan going up against my opponent's Jake Peavy. Yes, I really hanging my meager hopes on Jeff Suppan is a statement on it's own. He's not a good fantasy pitcher. I don't want him on my team. But innings minimums exist and with Beckett out, I needed innings.

Of course, Suppan lost, Peavy won (for the record, I was not suprised about this. It's what should have happened, but nonetheless it sucked for me fantasy wise) and my week went from 10-2 to 12-0.

The main reason is simple. My offense fucking blows asshole. And blowing asshole is something only the most shit-eating offenses do. We all start 9 hitters and 5 of mine hit under .200 for the week (thank you Hardy, Berkman, Drew, Atkins and even Hafner). That Hafner (one of my favorite players) has joined Drew, Berkman and Atkins to form a near record breaking futile foursome that no team could possibly overcome.

Francisco Cordero never even pitched. I guess this is a good thing, since I usually find myself bitching once every other week or so about how closers in non-save situations often get knocked around. (Speaking of which, I own Brett Myers in one league and was just tickled pink to see him come into a non-save situation, kill my ERA for the week and then get hurt. Super)

Garrett Atkins is garbage. He is currently ranked 764th on Yahoo's Player Rankings. The following Third Basemen elligible players are ranked ahead of him right now:

• Alex Cora - part time player
• Mark DeRosa
• Jose Batista - He's on the Pirates. I think. Who fucking knows.
• Hank Blalock - the same Hank Blalock who hasn't played in 3 weeks and just HAD A RIB REMOVED FROM HIS BODY
• Nick Punto - Yes, Nick Punto

Atkins is without a doubt the single biggest non-injury bust in fantasy baseball this year. He is currently hitting .220 with an OPS of .628. He's been dropped to 6th in the lineup.

Looking to next week, I have a feeling this team is going to turn it around. This is the week JD Drew breaks out of his slump. Atkins is at home all week so he's got to start hitting right? And Berkman, well I really need Berkman to start hitting, so I'll go ahead and predict that he does. That way, I'll really have something to bitch about next week.

UPDATE: My decision to not add Youkilis played at least a minor part in my loss in that league. I played Bonds instead of Youk and he went 2-14, whereas Youkilis went an astonishing 12-28, getting 2 hits in all 6 games he played. I lost the hits category by so much, it didn't matter, but it would had been a lot closer if I'd had those 12 hits, and my opponent had played JD Drew and his 2 hits.