Not to be outdone, Adam LaRoche chipped in a 2-23 week (both singles) and a whopping .309 OPS. Very hard to do if you actually take a bat and two functioning eyeballs to homeplate. Thankfully, the apathy of my offense was met by my opponent, as I won Home Runs 2-1 for the week. His only home run coming courtesy of shortstop Brendan Harris and he hit on Monday. Kazuo Matsui's first week on my team was met with a low OPS (.667) but 3 steals. Not bad.
Two days into the week, Michael Barrett was traded out of a good hitters park to SD where fly balls (and Vinny Castilla) go to die. His OPS for the week was .471. Most irritatingly, after hitting 7th for two weeks and not doing much, LoDuca is back in the number 2 hole, the only reason he has any fantasy value at all. Now I have to go pick him back up, which is something of a pride swallowing maneuver.
And seriously now, how much fucking longer is Magglio Ordonez going to be good. He's just to greasey to keep this up isn't he??
On a more positive note, Lance Berkman is alive. He seems to be waking up from his season long funk, following in the footsteps of other slow starters I drafted on that same team like Atkins an Konerko. Berkman finished the week with a 1.147 OPS, which would have been really impressive if Kinsler hadn't gone 1.345 with 9 runs.
As I've mentioned in this blog before, the week when I play my wife tends to cause a little inter-apartmental tension. This is of course exacerbated by the lack of sex, which is replaced by hostility and jokes about violence. Last time we dueled, I escaped with a tie. This time, I was not so lucky. In the five years my wife has played fantasy baseball, she's always been good at putting together an offense. Pitching, however, has always eluded her. She had attempted to buck that trend by drafting a pitcher much earlier than usual, and so she selected the second most reliable starter in baseball in our 4th round. Unfortunately, Chris Carpenter proved there's no such thing as a "reliable starter" after making only one start (a bad one) in 3 months. Then she endured the injury to Felix Hernandez. So she's sworn off pitching all together, and currently trots out there guys like Jeff Suppan, Ervin Santana, Jeff Francis and Orlando Hernandez. I tell you this stuff because last week, she beat me in ERA/WHIP and K/BB ratio. And she starts Todd Jones. Not sure how this happened, but fuck if it didn't.
There are some things at which a man just can't take his wife being better than him:
- bowling
- Simpson Quoting
- weight lifting
- throwing a football
- jeopardy
- sports trivia
- hooker raping/beating
- joke telling
- driving
Yet, I find myself almost proud of her. At least, that's the feeling I get as I slowly lower the pillow down to her face...
SIDE NOTE: We are entering what I think of as the duldrums of the fantasy baseball season. The weather is really nice and I actually want to spend more time outside as opposed to inside watching baseball. This year, this feeling is hitting me stronger than usual. What does this mean?
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