In my two Yahoo leagues, the 23rd week of the fantasy baseball season is the first round of the playoffs. Due to both solid managing and unintelligent opponents, I had byes in both leagues, earning the top seed in one league and the second seed in the other.
In my keeper league, however, playoff races were still alive and well. The first 3 playoff spots were determined, but there were 4 teams within 6 games of each other for the final 3. I had the best record of the 4, so it would take an impressive collapse to keep me out, but like a porch at Tom Arnold's house, I was due for a collapse. And besides, I started Bonderman again.
Bonderman had 2 starts. Why I thought he might be good escapes me at the moment. The point is, he wasn't. His combined totals from his two starts were ugly. Sarah Jessica Parker ugly:
6.2 INN, 14 HA, 4 BB, 4 K, 9 ER
He put a nice exclamation point on what has truly been a huge collapse for him in the second half. He is reason number one for the Tiger's disappearance in the standings. Thankfully for me, my opponent started Dontrelle Willis and Braden Looper, who combined for 3 starts, and also suck. They were almost worse:
12.2 INN, 23 HA, 5BB, 10K, 15 ER
Smoltz threw 7 one-hit innings, Shields was dominant for 2 starts and I cruised to a 5-0-1 record in the pitching categories.
On the offensive side, there was the good:
Hafner (2HR, 8 RBI)
Ibanez (2 HR, 6 RBI)
Teixeira (HR, 4RBI)
Wright (2 HR, 4RBI)
There was the bad:
Furcal (2-26, .151 OPS)
Bay (3-15, .600 OPS)
Matsui (1-16, .348 OPS)
And there was the ugly:
Matsui again. God bless him, he's just not a handsome man.
Furcal has just been nothing but a disappointment in almost every week but that one in May when he had about 18 hits. He doesn't run and he won't even sniff the 14 HR he hit last year. But then again, I drafted him on at least two of my three teams, which meant, frankly that he had to disappoint. Here's a list of all the players that I drafted at least twice this year. Enjoy.
Rich Harden
BJ Ryan
JD Drew
Rafael Furcal
Gary Sheffield
Travis Hafner
Not a great list. Not a lot of expectations exceeded here. Thankfully I had the common sense to avoid Vernon Wells and the good fortune to not draft Chris Carpenter.
But back to the week in question. I always seem to have a player who just shits himself and produces a 2-20 week. Gary Sheffield has done it at least 4 times. Nobody I play ever has a player do that poorly. I never see a guy I'm going against put up an OPS under .300. It's not like my guys are bad, I just always have someone vanish for 7 days. Regardless, I won a weak HR battle 9-6, making this now 6 consecutive weeks for my team without double digit homers. Could be an issue come playoff time.
I eeked out RBI by 2, tied in runs and lost the rest to finish the week 7-3-2 and sit pretty with the #4 seed heading into the playoffs.
I have a hard choice coming up. Do I stick with Jason Bay, who has still been terrible since I traded for him, or put Sheffield back in my lineup? Sheffield hasn't been the same since his shoulder injury, but has been doing a little better of late. It's usually customary for me to go down swinging with my best guys. Or at least the guys I've had from the beginning. If I lost and Sheffield hit 3 homers on my bench it would be a lot more upsetting then if Bay exploded on my bench.
You know things are going well when you make lineup decisions based on who you would rather lose with.
Looking Ahead
I have 3 playoff matchups next week including one against my wife, who won her first round matchup despite having easily the worst pitching staff in the league. With Cole Hamels on the DL, she has no starting pitcher ranked in the top 200. Seriously. Her staff is headined by the likes of Joel Pineiro, Doug Davis and Brian Bannister. Seriously. How did she win, you ask? Funny story. Not funny "ha ha" or funny "chuckle, chuckle" but the kind of funny that doesn't elicit any laughter at all. Like "just got caught masturbating funny," or "really bad hangnail" funny.
Anyway, sometimes the most important thing that happens in a matchup occurs before the matchup even starts. Sunday morning (sunday is the last day we can add players and have them be active for the following week) the team with the #2 seed dropped Daisuke Matsuzaka. Dice-K had been struggling and has looked tired. However, he's still a 200 K guy with great win potential. Naturally, the biggest pussyface in our league jumped all over him and expected Dice-K, with 2 starts no less, to help him expell my wife from the playoffs.
Obviously, he should have run that plan past Matsuzaka first, who proceeded to win one of those 2 starts, and put up an ERA of 16.88 with a WHIP of 2.50. Numbers so bad, that not even Doug Davis, Roger Clemens or Paul Byrd could have been worse, and my wife moved on. Take out Dice-K's numbers and she loses. That's good stuff. Especially since the team she beat is the same team that beat me in the finals last year when 8 of my starting 12 hitters took the last day of the season off. Do I hold a grudge? Short answer: Yes.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Friday, September 7, 2007
Week Twenty-Two
I don't know where to begin here. Should I start with the fact that after Thursday night's games I was ahead 10-1-1 but ended up losing? Or should I focus on the closeness of my losing? Since nobody is reading this anyway, it hardly matters so I'll start wherever the fuck I want.
I think I'll start with the good. Jimmy Rollins was far and away my team's MVP for the week, as he tallied 17 hits, 3 HR's, 9 Runs and 3 Steals, helping me to win all 4 of those categories. David Wright added a 2 homer, 2 steal week and even more tantalizingly, Travis Hafner seems to be coming around a bit. This is more exciting to me than running into Hillary Duff (and I do mean running into). Hafner homered, knocked in 6 runs and finished the week with a respectable OPS of .819.
Also on the positive side, I started Kevin Correia this week in Washington. He was making just his third start of the season after pitching out of the pen for the first 4 months, but I saw him pitch vs. Atlanta and he looked really good. This decision bucked a trend and went well for me, as he allowed 2 runs over 6 innings for the victory. That's about the only positive stuff I can write about for the week. Oh wait, I didn't die. I got an ear infection, but that can hardly be blamed on fantasy baseball.
The only closer I start is Francisco Cordero. Why? Injuries and a slow trigger on the waiver wire. Regardless, Friday morning, I'm up 2-0 in saves. Friday night, Jacquin Beniot (one of my relievers) comes in to close out a 4 run lead in the ninth. What does he do? He gives up a double and walk. This creates a save chance, and since managers manage games by this statistic more than any other, it was time for Texas closer to come in. Their closer, CJ Wilson is one of my most hated major leaguers. I hold him personally responsible for my losing one of my leagues in the finals last year because it was his errant fastball that prematurely ended Hafner's 2006 season.
More importantly - right now - is the fact that Wilson is on my opponent's team. Now my reliever has created a save chance for his reliever, which puts my in the odd position of having to hope that his reliever can pitch well and keep my reliever's runners from scoring and fucking up my ERA. What happens should be obvious. The first batter homers. That gives my reliever 2 Earned Runs and his reliever only 1. So then I root for Wilson to blow the save, which of course he does not. He immediately settles down and gets the save. Try and imagine a way, short of the computer electrocuting my testicles, for that inning to go worse for me.
Despite this, my pitching was still hanging on into Saturday. That's when Kelvim Escobar toed the rubber at home against the Rangers and their pathetic offense, for which Marlon Byrd has found himself the cleanup hitter. What does Escobar do? 2.2 innings, 6 runs. Brilliant.
By Sunday night, things had gotten messy. I found myself losing. I had gone back ahead in saves, thanks to Cordero. Unfortunately, he had given up 2 hits in that save which put my WHIP and BAA in jeopardy. From this point on, there were two at bats, moments if you will, that could have tipped the scales in either direction. You can guess which direction the scales were tipped.
Moment #1: The Sunday night game was Texas-Anaheim. Sure enough, the AL's second best team found itself trailing by 3 runs in the ninth - just enough for a save chance for my good buddy CJ Wilson. Wilson, however, struggles. By the time he has recorded two outs, two runs have score and the bases are loaded for Garrett Anderson. This is a big spot. At this moment, my WHIP is .002 higher and my BAA is about even. I'm on the wrong side of a 5-6-1 score. However, if Anderson can get a hit things will change. No save for Wilson means I'll keep that save point. The hit would raise his WHIP and BAA just above mine. 5-6-1 would become 7-4-1. Sure enough, Anderson makes a quick, suspenseless out. 4-6-2.
Moment #2: One of my opponent's closers, Todd Jones, is terrible. Late Sunday afternoon, he had blown a save vs. Oakland in which he had allowed 2 runs. The bases were still loaded against Jones with no outs when Mike Piazza, my catcher came to the plate. I ended the week tied in RBI, and while my hitters left an astonishing 7 men on third base with less than 2 outs this week (Matsui - 2, Hafner - 1, Bay - 2, Piazza - 1, Ibanez - 1) none were more painful than this. Piazza not only failed to get that run in, but he hits into a rally killing home to first double play. If he hits a fly ball, I gain a point to 5-6-1. If he gets a hit, then like with Wilson, I would have won WHIP and BAA, making the score 7-4-1. He did not. The next batter did not. And I did not.
In the end, I lost WHIP 1.366 to 1.364 and BAA .2733 to .2732. Painful. Just painful. When I think of all the infield singles and senseless walks to punchless hitters I'd seen during the week, I actually sweat with anger. I probably need an outlet for that. Beating the wife seems like the obvious choice, but I think I can come up with something more constructive. Maybe woodworking, model building or stalking Hillary Duff. Perhaps I should bottle it all up inside until I'm in my mid 40's and it all just explodes out of me onto some unexpected stranger or little league umpire. That's probably the way to go. That or Yoga.
Thankfully, the pain is eased by my big 9-2-1 win last week that all but guaranteed me a spot in the playoffs. Going into week 23, I'm in second place in my division, but only 5 games back of first despite having a .500 record. The logjam of teams behind me is so big that the 7th place team overall is just 6 games behind me and 1 game out 6th (the last playoff spot). Barring a collapse this week, I should be fine. I'm playing the last place team in my division, so a big win might even get me into first place and a first week bye in the playoffs. Might.
Looking Ahead
I think I'll start with the good. Jimmy Rollins was far and away my team's MVP for the week, as he tallied 17 hits, 3 HR's, 9 Runs and 3 Steals, helping me to win all 4 of those categories. David Wright added a 2 homer, 2 steal week and even more tantalizingly, Travis Hafner seems to be coming around a bit. This is more exciting to me than running into Hillary Duff (and I do mean running into). Hafner homered, knocked in 6 runs and finished the week with a respectable OPS of .819.
Also on the positive side, I started Kevin Correia this week in Washington. He was making just his third start of the season after pitching out of the pen for the first 4 months, but I saw him pitch vs. Atlanta and he looked really good. This decision bucked a trend and went well for me, as he allowed 2 runs over 6 innings for the victory. That's about the only positive stuff I can write about for the week. Oh wait, I didn't die. I got an ear infection, but that can hardly be blamed on fantasy baseball.
The only closer I start is Francisco Cordero. Why? Injuries and a slow trigger on the waiver wire. Regardless, Friday morning, I'm up 2-0 in saves. Friday night, Jacquin Beniot (one of my relievers) comes in to close out a 4 run lead in the ninth. What does he do? He gives up a double and walk. This creates a save chance, and since managers manage games by this statistic more than any other, it was time for Texas closer to come in. Their closer, CJ Wilson is one of my most hated major leaguers. I hold him personally responsible for my losing one of my leagues in the finals last year because it was his errant fastball that prematurely ended Hafner's 2006 season.
More importantly - right now - is the fact that Wilson is on my opponent's team. Now my reliever has created a save chance for his reliever, which puts my in the odd position of having to hope that his reliever can pitch well and keep my reliever's runners from scoring and fucking up my ERA. What happens should be obvious. The first batter homers. That gives my reliever 2 Earned Runs and his reliever only 1. So then I root for Wilson to blow the save, which of course he does not. He immediately settles down and gets the save. Try and imagine a way, short of the computer electrocuting my testicles, for that inning to go worse for me.
Despite this, my pitching was still hanging on into Saturday. That's when Kelvim Escobar toed the rubber at home against the Rangers and their pathetic offense, for which Marlon Byrd has found himself the cleanup hitter. What does Escobar do? 2.2 innings, 6 runs. Brilliant.
By Sunday night, things had gotten messy. I found myself losing. I had gone back ahead in saves, thanks to Cordero. Unfortunately, he had given up 2 hits in that save which put my WHIP and BAA in jeopardy. From this point on, there were two at bats, moments if you will, that could have tipped the scales in either direction. You can guess which direction the scales were tipped.
Moment #1: The Sunday night game was Texas-Anaheim. Sure enough, the AL's second best team found itself trailing by 3 runs in the ninth - just enough for a save chance for my good buddy CJ Wilson. Wilson, however, struggles. By the time he has recorded two outs, two runs have score and the bases are loaded for Garrett Anderson. This is a big spot. At this moment, my WHIP is .002 higher and my BAA is about even. I'm on the wrong side of a 5-6-1 score. However, if Anderson can get a hit things will change. No save for Wilson means I'll keep that save point. The hit would raise his WHIP and BAA just above mine. 5-6-1 would become 7-4-1. Sure enough, Anderson makes a quick, suspenseless out. 4-6-2.
Moment #2: One of my opponent's closers, Todd Jones, is terrible. Late Sunday afternoon, he had blown a save vs. Oakland in which he had allowed 2 runs. The bases were still loaded against Jones with no outs when Mike Piazza, my catcher came to the plate. I ended the week tied in RBI, and while my hitters left an astonishing 7 men on third base with less than 2 outs this week (Matsui - 2, Hafner - 1, Bay - 2, Piazza - 1, Ibanez - 1) none were more painful than this. Piazza not only failed to get that run in, but he hits into a rally killing home to first double play. If he hits a fly ball, I gain a point to 5-6-1. If he gets a hit, then like with Wilson, I would have won WHIP and BAA, making the score 7-4-1. He did not. The next batter did not. And I did not.
In the end, I lost WHIP 1.366 to 1.364 and BAA .2733 to .2732. Painful. Just painful. When I think of all the infield singles and senseless walks to punchless hitters I'd seen during the week, I actually sweat with anger. I probably need an outlet for that. Beating the wife seems like the obvious choice, but I think I can come up with something more constructive. Maybe woodworking, model building or stalking Hillary Duff. Perhaps I should bottle it all up inside until I'm in my mid 40's and it all just explodes out of me onto some unexpected stranger or little league umpire. That's probably the way to go. That or Yoga.
Thankfully, the pain is eased by my big 9-2-1 win last week that all but guaranteed me a spot in the playoffs. Going into week 23, I'm in second place in my division, but only 5 games back of first despite having a .500 record. The logjam of teams behind me is so big that the 7th place team overall is just 6 games behind me and 1 game out 6th (the last playoff spot). Barring a collapse this week, I should be fine. I'm playing the last place team in my division, so a big win might even get me into first place and a first week bye in the playoffs. Might.
Looking Ahead
Did I just say "barring a collapse?" Why would I say that? Am I stupid? Well obviously, yes. Just one example is this very blog I'm writing which I probably read by fewer people than the screenplay for "Daddy Day Camp." I know I shouldn't make fun of Cuba Gooding Jr, but with this, Snow Dogs and Boat Trip, I can only hope that he's laughing. Because nobody else is (okay, fine, I laughed at Boat Trip, but if you can find me another movie showcasing an Oscar winner's ejaculate, I'd love to see it).
As I said, next week I'm playing the last place team in my division. I find this odd because after the draft, I thought he had a really good team. But a poor season from Delgado, a lack of power from Derrek Lee and ill advised trades of Grady Sizemore, CC Sabathia and Lance Berkman - the results of which netted him Renteria and Vernon Wells - have left his team in what very closely resembles shambles. They are both on his bench due to injury and lack of production respectively. Hopefully I can do something here.
I'm starting Bonderman this week. Twice. His last start was encouraging, though it was against KC. Blanton is back on the road and has struggled vs. the Angels in his career. I should do well in ERA, WHIP and BAA if only because he's starting Dontrelle Willis twice, and for some reason still has Joe Kennedy (who I just found out is now on Toronto) in his starting lineup. We both only have 1 closer. Saves will simply be a question of who gets luckier. Usually, I hate that question.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Week Twenty-One
It's a strange feeling to write a blog that isn't really angry. And why should it be. My losing streak is over. I finally won a week. My second since the All-Star break. With this big 9-2-1 win, I jumped from the 6th seed, just barely hanging on, to the 4th seed and looking pretty. Not physically pretty, but in good shape in the league.
My team got huge weeks from Teixeira (12 hits, 3 HR, 11 RBI, 8 Runs), Wright (1 HR, 7 Runs, 7 RBI, 3 SB), Furcal (11 hits, 8 Runs), Matsui (11 hits, 1.117 OPS) and Ibanez (11 hits, 2 HR, 5 RBI, 5 Runs). Those more than offset the poor weeks from Rollins and new catcher Yorvit Torrealba. Torrealba was playing in place of Piazza, who I decided to bench. Piazza outproduced Torrealba's week in one 4 hit, 5 RBI game. So that decision, like many that I've made this season and that one I made about shaving my balls, left shit on my hands.
Wandy Rodriguez sits on my bench until he starts at home, where he has a sparkling 1.65 ERA. This week he had two starts in Houston vs. Washington and Pittsburgh - two teams with no real offense to speak of. I guess I should say Rodriguez "had" that sparkling home ERA, because he no longer does. In 10.1 innings Wandy allowed 13 hits, 7 walks and 11 earned runs. Not good. So if I've learned nothing else this week, it's that guys with a "Y" in their first name are no longer welcome on my team. (Except for Theriot, who makes up for his first name in his last name. Also in the fact that he actually plays well)
Thankfully, the rest of my staff bailed him (me) out. Smoltz, Shields and Escobar combined for 4 wins and 30.1 quality innings in 4 starts. I can't help but say I got lucky in the bullpen, where Joaquin Beniot went 3.2 scoreless innings and picked up 2 very important vulture wins. That's the kind of thing I usually bitch about in this very space, but not this week. Another week, another 2 scoreless innings from Chamberlain. I can't help but think that streak will end badly. Even Cordero chipped in 0.1 scoreless innings this week. Thanks buddy, don't wear yourself out.
I can't help think that this blog has too much of a happy tone. If it does, it's probably because I haven't written one like it in 5 weeks. This is usually the part of the blog where I talk about how Hafner needs to fucking man up and find his balls. I can't make myself do it this time. He had 6 hits this week and even though only 1 was for extra bases, I'll give him a pass. I know that's important to him because every Monday I'm sure he reads this blog instead of checking the standings. Or spending time with his family. Or thinking about that $50Million contract he just signed. On another positive note for Hafner, my wife saw him in the dugout on TV the other night and said "he doesn't look as ugly as usual there." So good for him.
Looking Ahead
Next week is the second to last week before the Playoffs. I have a tough assignment to play the second best team in the league. He has Utley, who I hear is coming back, but as of Sunday night, he's still on his bench, with Mark Ellis in his lineup. He also has Aramis Ramirez who always seems hot when I play him. Oh and last time we faced off, Eric Byrnes stole 7 bases in one week. That fucker. I'm hoping to draw even and not lose any ground. Torrealba is out, Piazza is back in and Blanton has a start at home vs. Detroit so he's in and Wandy is long fucking gone.
He has more starts than me, so I added Kevin Correia of the Giants. He's in Washington this week and qualifies as a reliever. He's been solid as a starter and I need to get lucky. I wonder if I've said that before. I wonder if it was just outside a strip club. Or waiting in a VD clinic. Or watching my wife click on the "History" tab of our Internet Explorer....
My team got huge weeks from Teixeira (12 hits, 3 HR, 11 RBI, 8 Runs), Wright (1 HR, 7 Runs, 7 RBI, 3 SB), Furcal (11 hits, 8 Runs), Matsui (11 hits, 1.117 OPS) and Ibanez (11 hits, 2 HR, 5 RBI, 5 Runs). Those more than offset the poor weeks from Rollins and new catcher Yorvit Torrealba. Torrealba was playing in place of Piazza, who I decided to bench. Piazza outproduced Torrealba's week in one 4 hit, 5 RBI game. So that decision, like many that I've made this season and that one I made about shaving my balls, left shit on my hands.
Wandy Rodriguez sits on my bench until he starts at home, where he has a sparkling 1.65 ERA. This week he had two starts in Houston vs. Washington and Pittsburgh - two teams with no real offense to speak of. I guess I should say Rodriguez "had" that sparkling home ERA, because he no longer does. In 10.1 innings Wandy allowed 13 hits, 7 walks and 11 earned runs. Not good. So if I've learned nothing else this week, it's that guys with a "Y" in their first name are no longer welcome on my team. (Except for Theriot, who makes up for his first name in his last name. Also in the fact that he actually plays well)
Thankfully, the rest of my staff bailed him (me) out. Smoltz, Shields and Escobar combined for 4 wins and 30.1 quality innings in 4 starts. I can't help but say I got lucky in the bullpen, where Joaquin Beniot went 3.2 scoreless innings and picked up 2 very important vulture wins. That's the kind of thing I usually bitch about in this very space, but not this week. Another week, another 2 scoreless innings from Chamberlain. I can't help but think that streak will end badly. Even Cordero chipped in 0.1 scoreless innings this week. Thanks buddy, don't wear yourself out.
I can't help think that this blog has too much of a happy tone. If it does, it's probably because I haven't written one like it in 5 weeks. This is usually the part of the blog where I talk about how Hafner needs to fucking man up and find his balls. I can't make myself do it this time. He had 6 hits this week and even though only 1 was for extra bases, I'll give him a pass. I know that's important to him because every Monday I'm sure he reads this blog instead of checking the standings. Or spending time with his family. Or thinking about that $50Million contract he just signed. On another positive note for Hafner, my wife saw him in the dugout on TV the other night and said "he doesn't look as ugly as usual there." So good for him.
Looking Ahead
Next week is the second to last week before the Playoffs. I have a tough assignment to play the second best team in the league. He has Utley, who I hear is coming back, but as of Sunday night, he's still on his bench, with Mark Ellis in his lineup. He also has Aramis Ramirez who always seems hot when I play him. Oh and last time we faced off, Eric Byrnes stole 7 bases in one week. That fucker. I'm hoping to draw even and not lose any ground. Torrealba is out, Piazza is back in and Blanton has a start at home vs. Detroit so he's in and Wandy is long fucking gone.
He has more starts than me, so I added Kevin Correia of the Giants. He's in Washington this week and qualifies as a reliever. He's been solid as a starter and I need to get lucky. I wonder if I've said that before. I wonder if it was just outside a strip club. Or waiting in a VD clinic. Or watching my wife click on the "History" tab of our Internet Explorer....
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